you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
