Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I am one with the molecules
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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