it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
