So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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