What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
