Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
