like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
