Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
