I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize