so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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