You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize