is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize