Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Semen is not good for contacts.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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