at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
