I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
