you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
