so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
