I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
