You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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