I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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