so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
