unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
