what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize