I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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