you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
