Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
babies were throwing up all over the place
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Randomize
