I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
