I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize