I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
