why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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