Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
