Pants 0. Shit 1.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize