Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
