drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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