Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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