I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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