she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
