Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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