Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
