Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
