i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
