it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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