gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize