just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
