Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
