Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
