I puked a lego.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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