He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
its liver damage thursday
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
