Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
