Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
