Can i not drive my cunt home
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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