I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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