forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
