Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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