I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
