I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
