Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
