i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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