...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
