Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
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