help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
