Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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