I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize