Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
