If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Panties = found
Randomize
