I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
