but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
